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#6 Old-School Vanilla Facebook

January 27, 2008
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Please STOP sending me Facebook application requests!

No, I don’t want to know about you, your ever-changing status, which friend you found using Friend Finder, or What Kind of Wedding Will You Have? or Which TV Boyfriend Is For You? I don’t really care much about joining the Kangaroo Animal Welfare cause or Grass Conservation or Anti-Capitalism Movement, because if someone wanted to make a difference it should be out in the real world, and joining a Facebook Cause doesn’t count. And I sure don’t wish to take part in the Six Degrees of Separation project.

I don’t appreciate it at all that some people advertise their oh-so-happy ooh-we-are-so-in-love (if-only-we-can-post-our-sex-tape-too) photos for all to see.

I especially do not enjoy receiving Mini-Feeds and Updates on which book so-and-so has just read or if your status has changed from “In A Relationship’ to ‘Single’ (Tough luck, buddy. Tougher now that everyone who knows about this, has to pretend to be sympathetic or even try to hook you up with their equally single and miserable friends.)

Yes, I may be vaguely interested in knowing What Kind of Lover I Am (or you are), but hey, I think I know it myself more than a silly 15-question quiz can tell me. And if I want to find out about you, I will ask you or find out myself. I don’t mind people throwing a cow at me at Super-Poke (are you trying to tell me I’m a COW?!), and I sure as hell don’t mind if I get a Superlative of “Miss Most Likely to Dump Scalding Hot Coffee Down a Guy’s Lap”.

By now, you’ll probably think, wow this crazy girl really has spent waay too much time on Facebook. You’re not wrong.

Having said all that, I think I better stick to “old-school vanilla” (in Ren’s words) Facebook and IGNORE/REJECT every single request that is so un-thoughtfully sent my way. I hope it’s not because the application you just added refused to reveal Which Grey’s Anatomy Character Are You or you can’t go on to the ‘next level’ without imposing on 20 of your hapless Facebook friends. And don’t get me started on adding random strangers and super-poking people you would hardly poke in real-life. So go old-school and kill the applications today.

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