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Proven: Beautiful Women + Less Attractive Men = Happiness, & Global Warming Is Not A Fluke

April 14, 2008

In less than 10 minutes of news surfing, I came across two startlingly disheartening news for mankind, though it’s not as if you haven’t heard them before. But now it is scientifically proven, there’s no denying. Why do they have to burst our disillusioned bubbles?

One, couples are happier if the wife is much more attractive than the husband. Men can now rejoiced, knowing that no matter what, if the lady wants to be happy, she will settle for a less attractive man and stop her endless quest for the ‘tall, dark and handsome’. What happens next? All the poor women will now have to learn to fend off less than desirable men, who now all believe they stand a chance with the perfect tens in the bar. Well, at the very least, there’s scientific evidence to back them up!

Two, global warming is REAL, it’s not a “cosmic swindle”. We are all a bunch of people in chronic denial. Ice caps are melting, sea levels are rising, the weather gets crazy on us, forests start burning, lakes disappear, rivers dry up, species go extinct, harvests shrivel up, locusts come abuzzing, people die of heatstroke and famine and everything imaginable. We’re living in the age of pre-apocalypse. And we’ve been trying so hard to blame the cause on everything else under the sun…no, now we are blaming it on the SUN itself! Sorry, people, don’t dream ’cause it’s over. The sun is innocent. It has been dilligently burning and giving us the light and warmth we need, and nothing else. Global warming is our fault. Now, we learn to deal with that. Or die, whichever comes earlier.

Read them here:
Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men
Global Warming Not a Cosmic Swindle

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