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#19 -SIX- Girls You’re Likely To Meet In A Lecture (or the Cafeteria)

April 22, 2008

Inspired by this article, 5 Girls You’re Likely To Meet In A College Bar, from the sex-ational Co-Ed Magazine website:

It’s kinda sad that we don’t have a college bar. If things don’t work out well for me, I might open the first one off-campus for the good of my fellow stressed-out university mates. Our school social life revolves around library, lecture and lunch. Since we can’t talk, not much anyway, in the library, the 6 distinct girl personalities only manifest themselves when the girls open their mouths and start to yak away..or not. 

Let’s go through ’em one by one and see if you agree with me. (I’m talking about general college stereotypes as usual so don’t beat me up if I am dangerously close to describing you.)

Girl Born With a Laptop On Her Arm – The Over-Achiever
Generally dressed like a half-baked preppy Ivy League student (with neither the charm nor beauty), dishevelled hair and a laptop permanently soldered onto the arm, she runs from one meeting to another without saying much of a hi to anyone (maybe not that she has many to say hi to anyway). She scores average As for every course she subscribes to and is a pet favourite by professors. You’d love to hate her…until you realise that at least you got the boys on your side.

The Sex Pot
She’s so hot, the atmosphere sizzles as she enters the room. Commonly dressed like a skanky unbridled (ahem) fashionista in backless tanks, shorter-than-short shorts and heels, she sashays and prances and is determined to catch every guy’s attention before leaving the room. She’s hard to catch, but probably not worth it anyway. She enjoys talking in a pseudo Western accent and usually has one or two guys carrying her books for her. She’s also HIGHLY likely to be an SP(U)G (see next point). You will need a queue number if you want to be her friend.

The Sarong Party (Uni) Girl SP(U)G
Around here (a predominantly Asian society), everybody knows what an SP(U)G is. Most, if not all, Asian guys hate her. For the benefit of those who doesn’t get this extremely derogatory term for females, I shall briefly explain hopefully without insulting any girls out there. See definition of SPG, short for Sarong Party Girl,
here. The SPG is an Asian female who exclusively prefers Caucasian men. The SPUG is the college version of the SPG (pronounced ‘spark-g’).

She enjoys hanging out with Caucasian guys, and since there aren’t many around here, they are usually exchange students. She hardly has local friends and almost never wastes her time dating Asian guys (no matter how eligible they are), because she only has eyes for the blond-haired-blue-eyed boys who hailed from good ol’ California/Down Under *wink*, or the exotic and elusive dark-haired Europeans who speak in a creamy accent. She can be found ogling at the white exchange boys at any time of the day…and a clustering effect may occur where a few SPUGs sit together to gush about how hot they are.

Ms. Ellen DeGeneres
She is your typical short-cropped hair, always-in-jeans, she-man that looks like a lesbian. (We shall not dwell into the discussion of her true sexual orientation.) She has sassy (or weird) fashion sense, partakes in obscure activities and always has her iPod plugged into her ears as she listens to her indie music. Very fun to hang out with but beware of her strange quirks (which can range from having tarantulas as pets to eating wasabi-laced pizzas for supper).

Little Miss Perfect & Sweet-As-A-Pie
She’s lovely, she’s sweet as a strawberry cupcake, when she smiles, every guy in the room melts. She may not be the brightest bulb around but she seems to have nailed the part about making men fall at her feet…without even knowing it. Helpful and genuinely nice, you can count on her for your college emergencies (which happen every so often) and it’s always a pleasure to hang out with her. The only annoying part is that she’s so perfect sometimes it makes you feel inadequate beside her.

The Bragger
She will NOT shut up about her endless adventures. (She’s like Rebecca Logan but much worse.) We understand her dad owns a hundred-foot-long yacht and their family has summer houses on half the islands around the globe and that she goes on annual skiing trips on the Alps. But she never lets you forget about those things… She’s likely to be an Over-Achiever (see first point) as well, she goes on every school-organized convention imaginable, she has her dainty footprints on every continent (we hope she’ll leave hers permanently in Antarctica and never come back) and she has photos to show by flooding her Facebook albums with them. Best to acknowledge her briefly and ignore her forever.

I can safely say that I don’t fall strictly into any category, and that my experiences with some of them have not been the most pleasant. If you are precariously close to becoming the SPUG, the Bragger or the Over-Achiever, please slow down and take a leaf out of Little Miss Perfect’s book. In any case, college is a highly social place and you DON’T WANT to piss anyone off too early in the game. You never know whose toes you have trampled on until you feel the knife plunged into your back. Take care, miladies!

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. geektress permalink
    April 23, 2008 12:23 AM

    Eek! I`m becoming a “Little Miss Perfect!”

  2. crumpler27 permalink
    April 23, 2008 1:58 PM

    tsk tsk “girl with a laptop on her arm” reminds me of someone *hint hint* really like lor! Good luck for exams gal, holidays will come soon. Whee! jiaqi here 🙂

  3. Nimish permalink
    April 26, 2008 4:35 PM

    So…there aren’t any normal easy-going girls, are there? Damn, we guys have it tough…

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