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#43 Musings on the Last Day of School

November 13, 2008

Before I launch into anything, Y-A-Y! This semester is over! (except for the final exams, that is) Planning my timetable around a 4-day week which ends on Thursday evenings is the best decision ever made this semester.

I am both elated and sad at the same time, because when next semester begins, I will be going off on exchange and I think I will miss the campus. The familiarity of walking from one block to the next in a state of zombieness, and calling my friend up for lunch and knowing for sure that she will be there together with a bunch of fun people swapping gossip and chilling out with iced chai. Believe it or not, I actually felt that this semester flew by. Thinking back, some weeks during the middle of the semester, especially the weeks clogged with project meetings and assignment deadlines, almost did not exist in my memory now. They are distant fuzzy memories — I had to think twice and hard to check if they are imagined or real. (Yes it’s that bad.)

Everytime I reflect on what I did, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of guilt washing over me. I still remembered at the beginning of the semester, I vowed to take good notes (which I somewhat did?), arrived early to lectures and tutorials (never really happened), put in more effort in my assignments (haa…) and be a more productive student. All of which did not really manifest.

Instead, I was perpetually late for class, I spent more time hanging out with my BFFs and BF than going to the library, where I only print out lecture slides and check out the occasional book (of which I only read like at most fifteen pages) and I did most of my work last minute (because I can’t bear to look at them). I have nearly become the anti-example of a driven college student, missing the grade to being the ultimate slacker just because I get drunk on beer three nights a week and I haven’t worn the previous night’s party clothes to a morning lecture (yet). And then I start to realise that it is nearly impossible to change your working style and amp up the mojo if you don’t have the heart/mood/energy to. It takes so much more than writing down the resolutions when summer ended.

Hopefully I can harness my guilt and leftover energy (from all the brain inactivity) to study for the final exams… Best of luck for your final revision and don’t overdose on Redbull/Starbucks’ caramel latte!

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