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#44 How YOU Met MY Mother… on Facebook

November 19, 2008

Our favorite time-waster and partner-in-crime in procrastination, Facebook, has become my mom’s latest obsession. Sure, she has her very own account (in which she doesn’t put her photo so nobody can ever tell she is not exactly in the target group for Facebook signups) and made friends with me, but since most people restricted views to their pages to “Friends Only”, it’s rather impossible for her to spy on my friends and what they do by looking at their Profile page and photos.

Most college kids in their right mind will say ‘Hell NO’ if their mom, no matter how politely, asks to access their accounts to ‘take a peek’ at their friends’ photos. I relented when my mom did, not because my friends are all goody-two-shoes with no photos of them caught in compromising positions and questionable moral values, but because I couldn’t resist hearing what my mom had to say about them. You will be surprised how blatantly and brutally honest your parents might be when you just give them a chance to meet your friends… through Facebook.

They will tell you who is hot and swoon-worthy (yeah I know), resembles a celebrity, is likely to get divorced before 35, takes really horrible photos (this is the time when you jump to your friend’s defense and claim that he/she actually looks rather attractive in person), and of course there’s the occasional “who the hell does this?”.

I have to say that it is rather easy for one to remark about people, be it in a critical or joking manner, especially if you haven’t met or talked to them, the same way you cursed at celebrities. My mom likes to make speculations about people who look compatible with one another, and more often than not, when I think about how they relate to each other in real life, I can’t help but be totally amused or disgusted by her suggestions.

The hardest part comes when she looks at my ex-crushes, people I secretly find hot, and these people, somehow, had very unattractive photos posted and tagged with their names, and my mom will be like, “Wow… why did they post such (replace word with synonyms of unattractiveness here) photos?”

Then of course, when my mom comes across a hottie, and she’ll go. “It will be great if you can date someone like that… not necessarily him, of course. But I’m sure he already has MANY girlfriends.” and automatically disqualifies you from the running of being Mrs. Hottie-on-Facebook.

So my friends, you may already have met my friends’ parents without you knowing. So post your Facebook photos with EXTRA discretion and pray that nobody tags you in those oh-so-very-scandalous and suggestive photos. You don’t know whose parents you have already offended before you even had a chance to impress them.

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